Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
did i just pee glitter
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
