What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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