didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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