I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
