Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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