Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize