how can u be prego again
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
