garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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