I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
