let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
