I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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