420 ftw
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
this hospital has no fireball
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
