I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
