I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
