I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
ttyl tear gas
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
