Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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