after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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