I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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