Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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