Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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