I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
