just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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