He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
