Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.

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(949): View more from California

shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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(315): View more from New York

i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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(438): View more from Quebec

Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it

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(775): View more from Nevada

I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.

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