It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
