just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize