I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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