When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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