apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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