why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
