he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
