Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
