he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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