Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
