I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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