People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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