i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
