My room smells like vodka and shame
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
