Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
