I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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