WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
