Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
