What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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