I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
