margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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