you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
