it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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