life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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