East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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