Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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