im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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