He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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