i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
