im drinking this country out of the recession.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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