I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
