What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
