I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
