last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
