I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
