I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this will be a night to untag.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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