Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
