I can tuck mytits in my pants
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
